Yes, you may call me fast

Those people used to annoy me. They would open their big mouths and whine about how they needed it, and I would roll my eyes. Please, I thought, your not fooling anyone.

Nobody really wants to run. For miles. We all would prefer just to sit on the sofa watching Arrested Development and eating pizza. I was sure of it. Until it happened to me.

I want to run. Every day. On days that I don't run I feel sluggish, lazy and crabby. I don't think I really experience the "runners high" on a regular basis, I don't believe it's the endorphins, but rather the the way I feel about myself when I'm running. Strong, dedicated, ambitious, determined. I like those qualities and running has helped me realize them within myself.

I like the challange, the sense of achievment when reaching a new goal. The problem is I am human and with limitations. I don't think I can run a marathon. It isn't that I don't have the stamina, it is that I don't think I can do it without injuring myself. My knee gets sore from time to time, I have the haunting memory of last year's stress fracture in the back of mind and I do not want to end up benched.

Yet I still want to mix things up and push myself harder and harder. Today I achieved this goal with speed. I ran four miles at an average of eight minutes twenty seconds. For me, that is quiet speedy.

I have already signed up for my next half marathon, this fall in Denver. I am so looking forward to it. I briefly debated doing the full but instead I think I am going to focus on speed, completing my next half faster than my last.

So for better or for worse I have turned into one of those people. A runner. An addict. And I love it.

Notice my spiffy shirt from the Pleasanton Half!

People I Want To Punch In The Face: Inspiration, PDA, Sweat

I'm feeling a little shall we say.... snarky today, so I guess that puts me in the right frame of mind for a People I Want To Punch In The Face post. It's really going to be more of a random collection of rants, you have been warned.

1) My hairdresser. I'm growing out my hair dude... did you have to take so much off? Love the color sweetheart, but do you know every centimeter of growth has been painful. Nuff said.

Hey where did my hair go??

2) People who include inspirational quotes in the signatures of their emails or on Facebook. Seriously I don't need to know your philosophy on success when I am only trying to coordinate a meeting with you or looking for a little morning entertainment with my coffee. I do not want your inspiration.

3) People who get too lovey dovey on Facebook. What is up with all of the crazy PDA there? Couples we know you are deeply and madly in love, but since when did we have to read your personal Hallmark cards to each other? And the fact that my husband cannot even tag me in a photo, does that mean he loves me less?

4) People who are chronically late. I always have to laugh at our kid's soccer coach who demands that we arrive twenty five minutes early for games so that the kids can warm up, but then never shows up until the last second. He moans about how hard it is to get out of the house with his wife and one seven year old son. Sweetheart, we manage to make it there with three boys, on time, every time. Get it together.

5) People who sweat all over the equipment at the gym and then don't have the decency to wipe it own. It's so freaking gross. They have those disinfectant wipes there for a reason. You make me gag. And you smell. Wear some deodorant.

Hey clean up after yourself. Got it?

Well hopefully my bad mood this morning put a little smile on your face anyway. Until next time....

XoXoXo

Rachel

On The Second Day Of Mother's Day....

Me, my crew and my lovely gifts!

This morning Evan asked me if it was the second day of Mother's Day. Oh how I like that idea! How can Mother's Day come only once a year? We mama's need at least one day a month. Trust me, we would be much nicer people.

I had an amazing day of love and relaxation. I slept in until 10:00, my poor husband dragging all three kids to Zachary's 9am soccer game. I actually forced myself out of bed at 10, figuring that it would be a shame to spend the entire day sleeping. My husband prepared a lovely brunch and the boys presented me with their adorable, thoughtful homemade gifts. Evan had just about been bursting at the seams to give me the plate he had made for me in preschool. I can honestly say there is nothing sweeter than your child beaming with excitement and pride as they give you something from the heart. I melted.

My husband then dropped me off at the spa where I received a much needed 90 minute massage. Afterwards I browsed the shops on Piedmont Avenue and then met one of my most-kick-ass girlfriend's Ms. Hannah for a cocktail. The day ended with a shrimp dinner and chocolate mousse.

FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC.

But now. Oh now. It's back to reality. And oh what a reality. I am incredibly busy with work, the house is in total disarray we are dealing with all that needs to be done to our Denver home before we return there in June, and figuring out how the heck to move out of this house. So much unorganized crap, I don't have the mental capacity to even think about it. My approach may actually be-pack it all up and deal with it... later. Awesome right? Not so much. And while all of this move out/move in stuff speeds ahead we are bogged down with the day to day, epic loads of laundry, meal preparation, play dates, baseball games and birthday party planning. Yes folks, it's birthday season once more.

So yeah...about that second day of Mother's Day? BRING IT.

Happy Mother's Day! Love you Mom!!!!

Alright, it's just about Mother's Day, and I usually do a sarcastic post instructing my family exactly how to treat me on the special day, but there are just so many out there that are far funnier than I can be, so I'm going to refrain.

Of course there are also millions and millions of mushy Mother's Day post as well . Women gushing about the privilege of  motherhood and giving thanks to the woman who raised her. Well today I'm feeling a bit warm and fuzzy myself so keep a barf bucket close at hand.

First, to my very own mother. My amazing mama. A mother who always put her children first. A woman who has sacrificed again and again for her daughters. My mother has always been there for me. As a little girl my mom thought of my sister and I first. With her small budget she bought us gifts she knew we would love and never spent a dime on herself.  She volunteered at my school, teaching folk dance and painting faces at our annual carnival. She held me in the middle of the night when I was scared and she fed me white bread and 7-up when I was sick.

Later in life she stood with me through teenage angst. She did her best to beat away my demons, the self doubt and hatred. She tried so hard to rescue me from the strong pull of an eating disorder. She was always  there. Always.

As I've grown to a woman she was the first one I called with that positive pregnancy test, the first I told about a promotion, a fight or a sprained ankle. She listens like I am the most interesting person in the world .

It isn't that we never fight. Oh we fight. Good Lord we can fight. It's because of the closeness, because of the love. We can push  each other's buttons, and drive each other nuts, but it is because we both care so very much.

My mom is living it up, traveling Europe for a month, and I am not sure I will be able to speak with her this Mother's Day, but I know someday she will read this, and I do hope she knows in her heart how I am thinking of her.

Finally, on to my own role as mom. It's been seven years that I have been a mom. Seven. I remember my first mother's day. We took my eight month old to brunch at a lovely Denver restaurant. I dressed my baby boy up and wore a sundress. I am sure I was glowing.You see,  I didn't know if I was going to get to be a mother. I had infertility concerns, and thought that I might not ever be on the receiving end of a mother's day card.  It was truly a magical day for me.

And here I am now. Mother to three sons. Three sons! Oh I moan and groan about the stress and the work. The stress is real, but the love is stronger. I know, I know how truly blessed I am. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

So thank you Mom. Thank you Zachary, Evan and Julian, for making me a mother. Thank you David for being there with me through it all.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you. It's a happy, happy day.

Abercrombie & Fitch RANT

You have probably already read the news: Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch hates "fat" people. (And by fat he means anything over a size ten, which apparently is as high as the retailer goes.) Although there have been countless stories written on the topic I can't help but to put in my two cents, because I am disgusted.

This isn't the first time I wrote about my disdain for Abercrombie & Fitch. Perhaps a year ago I wrote a piece about the company's practice of marketing sexually suggestive clothing to preteens. This organization simply seems to lack decent values.

If the reports are accurate, Mr. Jeffries believes it is in his company's best interest to market only to cool "beautiful" people. Mr. Jeffries defines beauty by pant size. If you are a size 12 ladies, I'm sorry you are simply too "ugly" for Abercrombie & Fitch. I didn't believe what I read, so I visited the A&F website to verify and in fact, some of their pants go up to only a size 6 or 8, which is well below the size of our average American woman.

The whole thing is simply offensive. One could argue that the store has a right to sell what they want  and target whatever market they choose. I believe that. Stores catering to petite women is not a new concept, and honestly I don't believe there is anything wrong with that in and of itself. One store can't be everything to everyone. Back in my days of suits and heels I was known to shop at Petite Casuals from time to time and I never, ever could buy anything at Ann Taylor, the brand simply did not make clothes that looked good on my figure. We have plus sized stores, stores for preppy girls, party girls and chicks who want to look like prostitutes. Each store is targeted to a different population-as it should be. What I take issue with is the exclusionary attitude of A&F's CEO, only thin people are beautiful, cool and popular. Screw that.

I also find it concerning that the company has a kid's line of clothing and presumably they hold girls up to the same standards of beauty as they do adult women. It doesn't take long for a teenage girl with full hips to realize she doesn't belong in that store. The sales people are tiny, the models featured in their advertisements (which usually include horny teenagers fondling each other) are tiny. The company is contributing to a culture that objectifies and sexualizes young girls while demanding  that women fit into a single digit size in order to be valued.

Does A&F have the right to do this? Absolutely. Are they morally bankrupt for acting on this right? Absolutely. In a day and age when eating disorders are appearing in younger and younger women, when as a society we are concerned with teen pregnancies and child molestation, what company in good conscience could promote push up bikini tops for little girls and have the company's leader openly chastise "fat" people?

The only conclusion I can make is that A&F is a bad company run by a morally corrupt man, one who surely doesn't have a daughter.

So Dear, Mr. Jeffries, while perhaps I could fit into a pair of your jeans, and have boys that someday may want to shop at your store I vow that I will never, ever spend one single penny at A&F.

13.1

13.1 miles. A goal that once seemed ridiculous, now accomplished. I completed my first half marathon today. Not only did I finish, but I finished well. 13.1 miles in one hour and fifty seven minutes. Out of 800 some runners I placed 232. I was tenth for women in my age division. 59 out of all of the hundreds of women who participated. Hell yeah.

I cannot explain how good it felt, how good I feel. I set a goal, I pushed my self, I succeeded. I have never experienced anything so empowering. I feel stronger than I have in my life.

The run was nothing to write home about. A flat course through an east bay suburb. There were no cheering crowds, no bands, no fan-fair, but it didn't matter, I was there, with other runners pushing myself and that is all the motivation that I needed.

It really wasn't all that difficult, in fact the 11.26 miles I ran solo a few weeks ago was far more challenging. During the race I was part of something, I was encouraged by those around me and those who would greet me at the finish line.

As I reached mile 12, runners started to pass me, I realized they were sprinting to place earlier, so I picked up my pace too. When I saw the clock was a few minutes under two I found my reserves and pushed harder, a smile on my face, as I saw my husband and children cheering me on. I crossed that finish line and was handed the first metal of my life. I got high-fives and hugs from my family, who got up at sunrise just to support me. The pride I felt in myself, the love I felt from my family made this one of the bests moments of my life.

My mother texted me this morning and said, "never say never." A mother's wisdom. I now know I can do what I set my mind to. And damn straight, I am doing it again!

Denver Bound

When we moved to California, Evan was a toddler, Zachary was a preschooler and Julian was only a possibility. My husband had an exciting new job, I was unemployed and would be Chief Navigator of our family social life. I threw myself into my new role with gusto. I took my boys exploring Berkeley, the marina, the museums and the parks. I formed playgroups and hosted birthday parties, inviting the entire preschool class to our tiny home on Sacramento. Everything was fresh and new. I formed new friendships and eventually found a fantastic recruiting job.

Fast forward almost four years later. We live in Oakland, and I have given up my role as Playgroup Coordinator. I have a first grader, a preschooler and our Julian. Our cats have died, and new friends have moved. Years have gone by without visits to our family back in the southwest. It's time to go home. It's time.

So the Kargas family is packing up and shipping out, Denver bound as soon as school lets out for the summer. I know better than to say for how long,  but we will be in the mile high for enough time to reconnect with family and friends and show the boys their cow-town roots.

There is so much to be down between now and then. The organizing and packing. Fixing up our Denver home, making arrangements for  childcare and summer camps. It's all a bit overwhelming, so if you hear less from me, this is why.

Wish us luck as we navigate through these hectic months ahead, and Denver, we can't wait to see you!